So, I haven’t posted in awhile. It’s the beginning of February, and I haven’t even come up with a list of resolutions or goals for 2015 yet. I turned another year older last week, and I’m still having a hard time coming to grips with that. I have so many ideas inside my head, so many things I thought I would have accomplished by this point in my life. A little bit of disappointment. And if I’m being honest, definitely some regret. I’ve been feeling…unmotivated. And the feeling isn’t all too wonderful. Maybe you can relate? If not, it’s okay, that’s probably actually a good thing. But just in case someone else out there can relate to my crazy, I’m going to talk about it.
I hate being negative, I really do. But sometimes it’s just so hard to shake it. Sometimes, when I look back at all the things I could have done but didn’t, I feel sad. And a little lost. Maybe even a bit confused and lacking purpose.
But I’ve realized something. If I can’t get over those “could haves” the “will haves” will never happen. If I can’t let go, I’ll never move on. I’ll never know what I might have accomplished if I was only strong enough, brave enough, to move forward. There’s a reason why things happened the way they did. God’s plan is sovereign, and even if we don’t always understand it, we need to trust it. Even when that means saying goodbye to certain things that you thought would never leave you.
Letting go is really just realizing that it’s okay to move on. To be a different person and to pursue a new goal – a new passion. To not feel guilty about it. It means understanding that God does have a plan for you, even if it’s totally different than you ever expected. And that’s okay.
You’ll never accomplish the things God has called you to do if you’re always looking over your shoulder, wondering what might have happened if you had followed your own plan. Ultimately, it probably wouldn’t have ended well. Maybe it would have worked out for a while, but in the end you can only run from God’s plan for so long before your legs give out and you collapse in a confused, exhausted heap – completely burned out.
So as I move into 2015, I’m going to focus on letting go of who I was and becoming the person I am called to be in Christ. I think I might have set about 20 goals and resolutions last year, half of which I can assure you were never even started. But this year, I’m choosing just one thing to focus on. Just one thing – to embrace God’s call on my life and run with it, no matter where it might take me. It’s a little frightening, not knowing exactly where I’m going, but I’m ready for a new adventure.
What are you focusing on in 2015?
